Decisions and the 7th Heaven Phenomenon

by Lauren

We've all been talking so much about choices and decisions lately that I think I've started to see it in everything I do. I like to call it the "7th Heaven Phenomenon." Remember that show on the WB, 7th Heaven? If you don't, where have you been this past decade?

For those of you who did watch, I'm sure you remember that every episode had a "theme" and that you could tell exactly what was going to happen to each individual character after the first five minutes. It would become immediately clear that this was going to be a "don't discriminate" episode, or a "teen pregnancy" episode, or an episode about any number of lessons to be learned.

That's how I've been feeling lately about choices and decisions. Now that I've opened up about the stresses of making decisions, I feel like I'm bombarded with them everywhere I go. It's only noon and I've already had to decide on breakfast, coffee, what to do today, what movie theater to go to tonight with my family... insanity! Sometimes I feel incapable of making even the smallest decisions and now I notice them oh so much more.

But I've found the solution.

A couple days ago, I was telling Nicole that I thought she should read a book by Paulo Coelho called The Alchemist. I recommended it to her because she was looking for a road trip book to read before our trip, and even though The Alchemist isn't exactly about a road trip, it is about traveling and a journey of discovery.

Last night, I pulled The Alchemist out of my bookcase and put it aside to lend to Nicole the next time I see her. It's definitely a "pay it forward" kind of book. Someone gives it to you, then you have to share it with someone else. Brent bought me a copy, so I'm giving it to Nicole to read next, and if she loves it the way I did, I hope she'll recommend it to someone else, and so on, and so on....

Now, here's where I think fate stepped in. I opened the book to a completely random page and read the first paragraph my eyes rested on, and here is what it said:

He still had some doubts about the decision he had made. But he was able to understand one thing: making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.

I have to say, this definitely made me relax a little about the whole decision-making process, because I can't see the future, I can't say what my choices will lead to - good or bad - so why should I be so stressed about making them?

I think one of those choices, for the three of us, was to participate in this road trip. We can map out our itinerary, schedule interviews, pick places to stop at along the way, but really - do we know where the road is going to take us? A few lines down from the paragraph I quoted above, the main character thinks:

And joining this caravan may have been my decision, but where it goes is going to be a mystery to me.

And I think that's exactly what we, too, are doing. We're joining each other in this journey with no idea where it will take us.

The Paradox of Choice

by Lauren

As Sarah, Nicole, and I have been planning out our upcoming road trip, we've talked a lot about choices. As 22 year olds who have just graduated college, we have so many choices, so many different paths to go down. We're lucky to live in a society that provides us with these endless opportunities, or are we?

Psychologist Barry Schwartz argues in his book The Paradox of Choice that "more is less" and that the more choices we are given or give ourselves, the less satisfaction and fulfillment we will receive.

Schwartz may be on to something here. While I have not read the book (yet), I do understand his basic argument. We have so many choices to make every day, whether it be a career choice, which college to go to, or something as simple as what brand of toothpaste to use, we have options, and oh so many of them. At a certain point, he argues, rather than feeling the freedom of making one's own choices, we become bogged down by decisions to the point that the questioning traps and confines us in our own self-doubt.

I think anyone who has recently graduated can relate to that. I have so many different career paths I could choose. I went to a Liberal Arts college and majored in Political Science. With little interest in pursuing politics, I am equally prepared and unprepared for just about any career out there. You'd think this would be an exciting time in one's life, and sometimes it is! Other times? Not so much.

How can I choose one thing, when another might be better? How can I weigh the benefits of doing something against the time lost on it that could have been spent on something else? I've never felt the weight of choice so much as I do now.

I was recently eating dinner with my boyfriend Brent (who told me about this book, actually) and we were talking about this very problem. We have so many options, we just can't choose anything anymore - be it a career, a place to live, or even what to eat for dinner. And I know we're not alone....

To demonstrate this predicament, I'd like to share something that happened to me recently at a nearby Starbucks. The man ahead of me in line was carefully analyzing the Starbucks drink menu, looking through each and every section, squinting at the small print showing what country those particular coffee beans are from, until finally he sighed, exasperated, and asked the girl behind the counter, "Do you have coffee here?"

After a brief, confused pause the girl politely answered, listing off the various coffees that could be purchased, different "multi-regional blends," cappuccinos, lattes, etc. etc. (Anyone having ever stepped foot in a Starbucks knows how long this list can go on....)

"No, no... just coffee please," the man replied. The sales girl or "barista" as they call them at Starbucks was completely baffled. What was this man trying to pull here? Eventually, however, she gave in and poured whatever was nearest in reach.

I laughed and gave the man a look of complete understanding. I was tempted to tell the barista, "I'll have what he's having," but I figured her world had already been turned upside down once that day and ordered a Pumpkin Spice Lattee just to make things easy for her.

image lifted from www.justcoffee.coop

As we prepare questions to ask during our interviews for RTN, I think two of the most important ones to me are going to be, "How did you choose this?" and "Did you ever look back?"

Until then, I'll be doing my best to avoid as many everyday decisions as possible so that I can one day channel all my efforts into something more important.